If you’re in the midst of a divorce or freshly divorced and dreading the holidays, you’re not alone. This time of year is actually one of the most common for divorces. While no one knows exactly why some believe that the stress of the holidays pushes a teetering marriage over the edge or makes unhappy people realize they want more out of life. Whatever has brought you to this point, you don’t need to go through it alone. Use these tips to make this transition a little easier.
Looking for an attorney to help you through a divorce? We’re here for you. Call Coumanis & York at 251-336-3121 to schedule a consultation with our team.
Manage Your Expectations
First, make sure you keep your expectations reasonable. This will likely not be the best Christmas of your life, and it may be one you look back at with sadness. If you accept that and commit to doing your best, the holiday season will pass more smoothly.
Determine Your Priorities
Knowing that this holiday season won’t be like the ones that came before, what do you hope to get out of this year’s holidays? Maybe you have children and you’re committed to giving them the best Christmas you can.
Perhaps you want to spend lots of time with friends to take your mind off of the divorce. Maybe you just want to lay low, catch up on your favorite Netflix series, and start the new year refreshed. There aren’t any wrong answers here—remember, you’re going through a hard time, so be gentle with yourself.
Iron Out the Schedule
If you and your ex share children, make sure you figure out the details of your holiday visitation schedule in advance. Nothing ramps up the stress on Christmas like an angry call from your ex demanding to know why you aren’t at the pickup spot. Once you have the details figured out, you can limit contact to protect your mental health as you get through the holidays.
Fill Your Time—But Not Too Much
While everyone needs different things from their first holiday season after a split, try to avoid wallowing and spending too much time alone. That way lies in reminiscing and getting pulled deeper into your sadness. Try to schedule regular time out with friends and close family members to get out of your rut. On the other hand, avoid overscheduling yourself. If you drain your social battery, you’ll be exhausted and prone to sadness during this sensitive time.
Use Your Support Network
You’re going through a difficult time—but does that mean you have to share it with your loved ones, who are likely having a great holiday season? Yes! Opening up about your struggles doesn’t take away the joy of the holiday season for the people who truly love you.
During times like this, people want to be there for you. They may hold back when it comes to offering help to avoid offending you or overstepping your boundaries, but don’t be afraid to reach out to people and ask for help. When you feel yourself starting to spiral, a coffee with a loved one or a shopping trip can make a big difference.
Allow Yourself to Think Ahead to Future Holiday Seasons
Going through Christmas, New Year, and other major holidays when you’re newly single can be brutal. At times, it may feel like the season will last forever. Just remember that this, too, shall pass.
You don’t have to love this holiday season or force yourself to act positive when you’re grieving—you just have to get through it. If it brings you peace, think about what future holiday seasons will feel like. Imagine that you’ve found peace, healed from the divorce, and perhaps even moved on with a new partner. For many people, thinking about happier times to come helps the hard times pass more quickly.
Get the Legal Help You Need with Coumanis & York
When you have a divorce attorney you can trust, the entire process is easier and less stressful. Let us be the support you need as you go through this major life change. Give us a call at 251-336-3121 or send us a message online to get started.